:)

I know in life that there are ups and downs... well, we've had both these past few days.  I'm going to skip the "downs" and get right to the "ups!" :)  Addie has had a fantastic couple of days!  She is breathing room air (meaning no more tubes in her sweet little nose) AND we got to give her a bottle today!  I teared up, Eric teared up, and her sweet nurse teared up... it was such a big milestone for her, and it was a very special moment for all of us!  It's crazy how big the little moments are...

Now, don't get me wrong... while I am a huge fan of the "ups" in life, I am very thankful for the "downs" in life... I know that God uses them to mold us into who He has made us to be.  The downs that I've had lately have shown me just how much I have been given... all of which I do not deserve.  My Mama, Eric, and I had a conversation about this the other day on the way to the hospital and it's been on my heart ever since... while we are tired and exhausted and emotional from the back and forth of going to Baptist and coming home with no baby, we are so thankful to even have a healthy baby to visit.  We know there are tons of people out there who would give anything to simply have a baby to love.  When we are disappointed about Addie's oxygen levels, we realize that her lungs work surprisingly well for such a itty-bitty baby and for that we are thankful.  We realize, too, that we are so blessed to live in a place where we can trust doctors and nurses to take care of her... long story short, we have way more "ups" than "downs."  I hope and pray that anyone who reads this blog and learns of our story is encouraged.  Eric and I know that God chose us to be Addie's parents so that we could use this experience to be a light for Him to others.  He's going to use us and that sweet baby girl to bring people closer to Him.  I just know it.

I can't leave without a few pictures of our precious baby girl... the Darius Rucker song I'm typing with the pics is one that always, always, always makes me cry (even when I wasn't pregnant/hormonal!).  I just love it.  It describes our situation in so many ways... it definitely won't be like this for long.

 

It won't be like this for long...

One day soon this little girl is gonna be...

 

...all grown up and gone.

This phase is gonna fly by...

...if you can just hold on...

 

It won't be like this for long.

See?  I'm crying just typing this!  Seriously, Darius and hormones.  Thanks a lot.

:) I love that little girl.

Happy 1 month, Addie!

Here are a few pictures from the day you turned one month old:

Our little sweetie on the scale... you weighed 3 pounds, 13 1/2 ounces on your birthday and you were 17 inches long!  We had plans to have you sitting in the recliner at our house on each month birthday, but this will have to do for now.  You will love the recliner, though... it is way more comfy!  :)  Nurse Carly took your hand and footprints, and she put an extra set of footprints on the paper for us!  It was such a great idea that I'm going to do your footprints on the sheet each month so we can see how they grow, too! :)

 

I love this one because it shows that you're about the size of the sheet of paper! :)  I can't wait to see how much you grow between now and next month!

All dressed and ready for dinner! :) You LOVE dinnertime!  I'm so glad you love it!  It makes all of your hard work during the day worth it!

 

We love when you sleep like this!  So content! :)

Addie,

Happy birthday, sweet girl!  This past month has been the best month of our lives!  We are so excited that you came into our world!  We got to meet you sooner than we planned, and we are SO thankful that God had it planned that way!  He sure knows what He's doing... can't wait to have you home with us soon!

We love you more than you'll ever know...

Mommy and Daddy

L.O.V.E.

A~you're adorable!

 

B~you're so beautiful!  C~you're a cutie full of charms!

D~you're a darling and E~you're exciting!

F~you're a feather in my arms!

G~you look so good to me!  H~you're so heavenly!

 

I~you're the one we idolize...

J~we're like Jack and Jill...

 

K~you're so kissable!

L~is the love-light in your eyes!

 

M~N~O~P~I could go on all day!

 Q~R~S~T~Alphabetically speaking, you're OK!

 

U~make our life complete!

 V~means you're very sweet!

W~X~Y~Z~It's fun to wander through the alphabet with you...

to tell you what you mean to me!

We love you, sweet Addie! :)

Steps in the right direction :)

We have had a fantastic couple of days around here!  Addie has made major improvements that we weren't expecting so soon.  Praise the Lord! :)

Yesterday, I called to check on little bit when I woke up, and Nurse Carly informed us that she was now off the Vapotherm!  Holy cow!  Our baby is now breathing on her own!  Mommy was a little anxious at first, but God gave me a peace and reminded me that those doctors and nurses are pretty smart and know what they're doing! :)  Now, we are oh-so-excited!  There is always a chance that she'll need it again at some point, but we are just pumped that she is tolerating life without it for now!  She still has the prongs in her nose to give her a little bit of oxygen, but the prongs are not helping her breathe... Addie is doing that all by herself!  What a big girl! :)  Here are a few of our latest pics...

Here I am with my big girl... I could just hold her all day! :)

Baby girl and me again... seriously, I just love how she feels and smells... can't WAIT to have her home with us!

Addie and Daddy time! :)  I'm telling you, he is the best Daddy!

 

 Shout out to our fave nurse, Carly!  She is so wonderful with Addie!  We are so thankful for her! :)

Our next big event happened that same night!  Eric and I went to see Addie for her 8:00 feeding.  They bathe and weigh her at this time, and we've tried to go for the weigh-in a few times before... each time, her temperature was too cool, so they had to wait until 11:00 to weigh her.  Boo!  Well, it was worth the wait because last night we got to watch and she weighed 3 pounds, 6 3/4 ounces!  WOW! :)  Not only did she get to take her skin temperature probe off (one less wire to carry around), but she also got to put on her first onesie!!  Mommy and Daddy were SO excited!

Now keep in mind that I was not prepared for this... I had a whole outfit planned for the day we got to dress her for the first time, but since it happened, we just went with a sweet one that we had at the hospital already.  I still just love it!
 

With the sepia tone, you can't tell that her bow was purple...
and she still looks oh-so-sweet! :)

Now, if you can believe it, one more big thing happened today!  I tell no lies, people... it has been a fantastic week for the Jackson family!  We are praising God all over the place!  On our way to the hospital today, we called to let her know that we were coming to feed her... Nurse Patty told us that she had been promoted to the next part of the nursery!  Addie is now in the part of the nursery with the "big kids!"  ("Big" is totally relative... ha! I've not seen anyone "bigger" than 6 pounds!)  We miss our friends Johannah and Cooper, but now we'll just pray for them to grow and improve so they can join us in the new area!  Like our respiratory therapist said today, we are now "closer to the door!"  Not that we don't love the people in the NICU, but we will savor any step that brings us closer to her bed in our house! :)

Here are a few more pictures of my bright-eyed baby girl:

Hello, my blog friends! :)

I haven't quite figured out how to work my eye muscles... 
Mommy loves this precious picture! :)

Thank you all for praying for me!  I can't wait to meet you all! :)

P.S. We just talked to the nurse after Addie's weigh-in tonight... she's up to 3 pounds, 8 1/2 ounces!! :)

Sometimes, a girl just needs to cry.

Ya know what I mean?

This is my sweet baby in the middle of a changing session... she wasn't too pleased with all of the stuff the nurse had to do to her, so she let us know. :(

To be honest, there have been many, many times during these past few weeks that I feel just like this.  Yes, I am so thankful for Addie and I know that God had this all planned out... but sometimes I have trouble focusing on the "bright side."  

Some days I just wish I could have kept her inside me for longer so she didn't have to figure out all of this breathing and sucking and swallowing business on her own.  

Sometimes I feel so guilty that I had to get a stupid infection that made her come 12 weeks before she should have and forced her to have to live in a box instead of at our home in her own bed.  

Sometimes I wish I could just breathe for her and help her get her oxygen that she needs so that all of those machines would stop beeping at her.

Sometimes I wish she was still in my belly.  I wish I could still feel her move around in there.  I wish I could have carried her as long as I was supposed to have carried her.

Sometimes I just need to cry, too, Addie.  I completely understand.

 

Thankfully, though, I get through those moments just like my Addie does...

this picture was taken about 2 minutes after the crying picture was taken. :)

I then remember that I had no control over that stupid infection.  None.  I had done everything I knew to do to make my body a healthy and happy place for Addie.  God just had plans to bring her into this world early... and again, I had no control.

I then remember that her coming early is making me a stronger person by the day.  My relationship with God is growing... my relationship with my husband is growing... my relationships with my family members and close friends are growing... and I've learned more about myself in the past 21 days than I had learned in the previous 29 years combined.

I then remember that I am so lucky to have this sweet child in my life.  I know many people who would give anything to have a child of their own, and I'm blessed enough to have--in my opinion--the cutest one! :)  

I then remember that that box is what is keeping her alive.  Those cords and probes and alarms are helping the amazing doctors and nurses take care of Addie.  I am oh so thankful for each wire and cord and beep... more thankful than you'll ever know.

I then remember that the day is going to come in the near future when I can take her out of a bassinet instead of a box and hold her in my arms for as long as I want... and my hands won't get tangled up in any cords... I won't have to constantly worry about her oxygen levels as I hold her... all I will have to do is love her and hear her breathe and feel her sweet skin on mine.  I dream about that day every. single. night.

Thank you, Lord, for showing me that it's okay to cry... and that You always give us reasons to smile.

My Baby: The Star! :)

Quick update:

Addie will have her TV debut this summer!  Woo hoo! :)  Nashville Public Television is doing a documentary and one of the segments is on preemies. They chose four babies from the NICU, and Addie was one of them! :)  Eric and I signed the papers, and tomorrow is the big day!  Folks from NPT are going to come and take pictures/video of our little darling!  They're sending us a copy of it, and I can't wait! :)

 

Daddy, Mommy, and the wittle star! :)

By the way, Addie is up to 3 pounds, 2 1/2 ounces!  Hooray!  Praise the Lord!

Baby girl has a bow! :)

I don't have much time to post tonight, but I had to show y'all this sweet girl's bow!  I nearly cried when I saw it in her hair today! :)

 

Is that sweet or what, people?!

Here are a few great things that have happened in the past couple of days:

-Addie is gaining weight!  Sweet little thing is up to 3 pounds 1 ounce!  She is supposed to be moving up to her new bed tonight or tomorrow, so we are excited!  It is a step in the right direction!  Praise the Lord! :)

-She is down to 2 liters of vapotherm... another major step in the right direction!  She has been on it all day, and she's tolerating it very well.  We are so proud of our little fighter!

-She's up to 25 ccs of milk each feeding... and they are adding 26 calories each time, too.  This should definitely help her pack on the pounds!

Keep those prayers coming.. they are working!  We are so thankful that God is using our little girl in such awesome ways... He definitely gets all the glory for her sweet little life!  I know He's got big plans for her! :)

Funny pic:

Addie is hilarious when she sleeps on her belly!  She pokes those long legs out and scoots toward the bottom of her bed!  Silly girl!